Coupeville Sports

     A rogue Island Transit bus takes a bite out of En Vouge Hair Salon. (Spencer Hawkins photo)

First the cars came for us. Now it’s the buses.

There is a town, a Wild West of automobiles, where no stop sign, no concrete barrier, no front door, will stop the hungry automobiles from seeking their prey. It is a town they call … Oak Harbor!!!!!

The quiet of a mid-week day was broken by the 34,912th incident of a vehicle launching itself into a building this year. Once again, no one was hurt, a building was smacked around a bit, and the horseless carriages get closer … and closer.

They are coming for us all, and they don’t give a crap about your silly brakes.

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“Can I get a drink to go? I’m walkin’ home…” (Dena Royal photo)

In a startling trend, drivers in the big city have forgotten how to drive.

While we here in Coupeville value the importance of car brakes (and knowing how to use them), the fine folks up in Oak Harbor seem to have decided to ignore the lines on the parking spaces and just park the darn thing wherever they feel like.

First it was a car that drove nearly to the back door of Little Caesar’s Pizza — after blowing through the front door — and now the latest assault on the crumbling infrastructure has occurred at Off the Hook.

Next time I go to Oak Harbor, I’m wrapping myself in bubble wrap. Many, many layers of bubble wrap.

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