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Archive for the ‘Caleb Valko talks smack’ Category

Nick Streubel (left) and Caleb Valko, back when they terrorized the gridiron together. (Katie Smith photo)

 Nick Streubel (left) and Caleb Valko, back when they terrorized the gridiron together. (Katie Smith photo)

Friday night will be a whole new experience for Caleb Valko.

“I have actually never seen a high school football game from the stands. I’ve always been on the field,” he said. “That should be a nice experience.”

After years of rampaging across the field, the former Coupeville High School gridiron star, who was a team captain as a senior last season on the Wolf squad that reclaimed The Bucket by beating arch-rival South Whidbey on its home turf, is now a fan.

And a very dedicated one at that.

“I’m so excited for this game, almost as excited as if I were to be suited up,” Valko said. “Probably because these are the guys I played with. I want them to succeed and I don’t have any doubts that that’s what they intend on doing.”

Coupeville opens with a home game Friday (7 PM) against non-conference foe Bellevue Christian. This time around the team leaders will be newly-minted seniors such as lineman Nick “The Big Hurt” Streubel and wing Jake Tumblin.

Watching his close friends go into battle without him at their side will be a new feeling for Valko, who, while not as physically big as Streubel, was the mud-stained soul of Wolf Nation.

“The transition of me playing to me watching is pretty difficult,” Valko admitted. “I know I can’t call out names or get somebody back into the game.

“It’s not my job anymore,” he added. “I’m a fan and an alumni now, not a player. It’s the captain’s jobs to keep the players in line.”

Which doesn’t mean he won’t be screaming his head off. Just from a different part of the stadium.

“Coupeville’s gonna kick Bellevue Christian’s ass!” Valko said. “Last year was a fluke. We almost beat them with 18 kids, half JV, last time.

“They better come ready to fight because I guarantee Streubel will be throwing punches and making tunnels for Jake to pass through!”

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"I don't care what it says in the manual, woman! I see shenanigans around here and there will be heck to pay!" (John Fisken photos)

       “I don’t care what it says in the manual, woman! I see shenanigans around here and there will be heck to pay!” (John Fisken photos)

"FREEEEEEEEDOOOOM!!"

“FREEEEEEEEDOOOOM!!”

"He's like freakin' poetry in motion, isn't he?"

“He’s like freakin’ poetry in motion, isn’t he?”

maggio1caleb1You can’t stop Caleb Valko, you can only hope to contain him.

And even then you’ll probably fail.

They took away his vuvuzela horn at the soccer game Tuesday, but the Coupeville High School senior was up to shenanigans on a Razor scooter not long after.

The mop-topped one must live free. It’s just his nature.

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"Psst, Hunter ... I'm trying to talk everyone into giving me cupcakes!"

“Psst, Hunter … I’m trying to talk everyone into giving me cupcakes!”

"Cupcakes? Why cupcakes, Mr. Valko?"

“Cupcakes? Why cupcakes, Mr. Valko?”

cupcakehammer2caleb1And no, that’s not a euphemism. I think…

Let the word go forth. Caleb Valko (and Drew Chan, too, I’m betting) wants to be showered in cupcakes Friday.

That night, the duo of Valko and Chaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn!!! (say it in your best Captain Kirk voice, please) will be honored before the Coupeville High School boys’ basketball team tips off with King’s.

It’s Senior Night, a night when even the most stoic of individuals gets a bit watery-eyed (let me state now … I HAVE A FRICKIN’ HEAD COLD!), when even the most rugged of manly men allow their moms to hug them in public, when the cupcakes flow freely (or at least Mr. Valko hopes).

“Cupcakes galore for Caleb!!” is his war cry.

So listen up, Coupeville, and make it happen.

Valko and Chan have been there through the tough times (the barf fest that was Food Poisoning Night against Blaine).

Been there through the trying times (terrible injuries to Gavin O’Keefe, Ben Etzell and Aaron Trumbull, god-awful refs who stole a win against Orcas Island).

Been there through the crap (student apathy and punk grads who bitch endlessly even when they couldn’t carry the jocks of any of the current players).

Been there through the transcendent times (the win at Mount Vernon Christian).

In the somewhat-rewritten words of Gene Hackman in “Hoosiers:”

I would hope you would support who we are. Not, who we are not. These individuals have made a choice to work, a choice to sacrifice, to put themselves on the line every night for the next four months, to represent you, this high school. That kind of commitment and effort deserves and demands your respect and your sweet, sweet cupcakes!!”

Hey, who are you to argue with Gene Hackman?!?!

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"They're giving Valko a whistle?!?!"

“They’re giving Valko a whistle?!?!”

"I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!"

“I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!”

"Oh, sweet lord..."

“Oh, dear sweet lord in heaven…”

ref3Living, as we do, in a golden age of god-awful refs who delight in coming to town just long enough to torture Wolf Nation, I have sensational news.

For perhaps the first time all basketball season, we have a guarantee of refs who actually understand the rules of the game being in the CHS gym this weekend. Cue the hyperventilating in three, two, one…

With the Coupeville Boys and Girls Club kicking off its youth basketball season, five men will step forward and take the mantle of refs for Saturday games.

Current Wolf hoops players Oscar Liquidano, Nick Streubel, Aaron Trumbull and Caleb Valko and football player Cole Payne (who is missing the high school basketball season after surgery) will wield their whistles.

Should they allow a player to throw a punch without being ejected, ignore a ball going off the top of the backboard, call a foul on the person who has just been thrown to the floor, call a technical on the player THEY just shoved and generally act like morons on leave from the moron farm, well then, they might be qualified to referee high school basketball games as well!

One can only dream.

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   Caleb Valko defends the paint, as Carson Risner (55) tries to dump a pass over his head during a recent scrimmage. (Shelli Trumbull photo)

“We are a pissed off squad.”

When Coupeville High School senior Caleb Valko says that — twice — in his look inside the Wolf program, he means it in the best way possible.

He means Coupeville, coming off a winless 2011-2012 season, is hungry for redemption, its players have spent the off-season getting harder, better, faster, stronger and that the Wolves are primed to explode and wreck other people’s expectations.

But let me step aside and let the smack-talkin’ master speak for himself. The musings of Professor Valko on the upcoming hard court season:

Man, where to start … we have numbers this year. But not just that we have numbers, we have athletes.

There’s nobody that’s sitting out crying that they “severely sprained” their ankles; instead they are manning up, playing through it to get better, like Carson (Risner) and Morgan (Payne).

We have a talented young group this year, which is a much better scrimmage team than last year’s. It’s the teams second year playing under coach (Anthony) Smith and getting used to his offense.

I think things are going to be a lot better this year than they were last year. We’re looking to score on ya this year and it doesn’t matter who you are anymore.

I might be sitting out that first game, but I’ll be in the stands screaming my head off.

We are a pissed off squad. You can tell by watching out practices we get down each others throats and taunt each other, but as soon as we get off the court it’s back to being brothers. We have something this year that we didn’t have last year. A pissed off squad. We were 0-20 last year and we all remember how it felt.

We have also all gotten better — Nick (Struebel) and Carson are stronger and have more post moves, Gavin (O’Keefe) and Drew (Chan) have worked on their handles, Morgan has worked on his shots, all the freshmen made the open gyms and you can tell it’s made them better. And all the other players are already progressing.

I don’t bring many skills to the team, but I offer my leadership and hope that it helps us out!

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