Coupeville Sports

       Tumwater beating ATM? We haven’t been this excited around Coupeville Sports HQ since that whole free doughnut/bagel thing.

My dearest Debbie,

I must apologize to you for all the nasty things I said about you this season.

Those times when I called you a tramp? A hussy? A slattern? A wench? A tart? An evil, evil computer bent on world domination by destroying the moral fiber of today’s youth by constantly picking against the Coupeville High School football team?

My way of trying to sweet-talk you, baby. Cause now I see clearly and what I see is one sexy hunk of wires and mother boards. Allow me to steam up your web cam if you come equipped with one, darling!

And it is at this point that 98.6% of my reading audience is like, “When did you fall and hit your head, son, cause you’re ranting like a loon.”

A loon in love with a football game-picking computer, that is.

Earlier this season, I discovered the ScoreCzar (https://sites.google.com/a/scoreczar.com/scoreczar/home) — Scott Odiorne, who uses a computer system way too complicated for my mind to fully comprehend, to predict football game scores across three states. Working in tandem with that sassy Mac with the junk in the trunk that is Debbie, he is scary good at what he does.

Since that involved betting against the Wolves almost every week I surveyed their work, I was quick to call out Debbie. But now that we’re deep into the playoffs, my tune has changed. For one simple reason.

Debbie predicts that Archbishop Thomas Murphy (the Darth Vader of the Cascade Conference) will end its season in the state quarterfinals this weekend, falling 28-16 to my one true alma mater, Tumwater, which is coached by that mythical man mountain (and my 9th grade Health teacher) Sid Otton.

That’s called a two-for-one deal, with awesome sauce dripping off of it.

Debbie, you scamp. If you’re right, I’m coming to kiss you. No need to clean off your printer cable, baby. We’ll blow the dust out of every one of your ports!