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Archive for the ‘Poking the Canucks’ Category

Photographic evidence of how the morons in Moosejaw deal with freelancers.

Photographic evidence of how the morons in Moosejaw deal with freelancers.

If we make it look fancy, maybe no one will notice we aren’t actually doing our job…

In a bold move to hide the fact the Canadian-funded papers of Sound Publishing are getting their rears handed to them on a regular basis in every town by the bloggers of America — generally operating out of underground bunkers on computers powered by two hamsters on an exercise wheel — the powers that be in Moosejaw have launched a web site paint job for nearly all their corporate rags.

All three of Whidbey’s papers are sportin’ a semi-spiffy new look today — without explanation, which might be a good thing since the Renton Reporter, operating without spell check or an editor in the room, led their story thusly:

The Renton Reporter website for the is getting a fresh look that will help readers get faster access to local news — and more of it.

I promise, I changed not a word. Now that’s some good filthy Canuck lucre well spent.

Being naive and ever-hopeful, I tripped over to the Whidbey Examiner site, my home away from home for many years. Perhaps the update had corrected that moment a year ago when the Evil Empire had erased hundreds of my by-lined stories with the flick of a programmer’s finger.

Perhaps all those hours, all those snappy leads, all that work largely done for free, would have reappeared.

And … nope.

Type my name into the Examiner and it tells you I wrote exactly one story for them.

And somewhere up in Manitoba a programmer scratches his (or her) butt with the same finger that helped me launch this blog in righteous indignation. Maybe this time they will finally get that elusive itch.

They’ll certainly be well-paid for their time.

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The blogger-Canadian Corporate lackey stare-down. Slap fight in three, two, one...

    The “Insolent Blogger vs. Canadian Corporate Lackies” stare-down enters year two. Slap fight in three, two, one…

So, this is where I’m supposed to get profound.

As we stand two days from the one-year anniversary of coupevillesports.com (and they said I’d give up after six months…), I’m supposed to talk about how this blog pulled me back from a dark period in my life.

How it revived my interest in journalism after Canadian Corporate Loonies from Moosejaw crapped all over three years worth of my bylined stories in The Whidbey Examiner, erasing them with a single keystroke.

After a carpetbagger owner sold out (in more ways than one) and fled town, her pockets stuffed with money made partially off of the sweat and skills of those dumb enough to buy her “we’re fighting the man” spiel.

After the last independent paper on Whidbey Island was stabbed in the back and left to bleed out in the streets.

See, up until that point, I really didn’t care all that much.

You shouldn’t have made it personal. Because now it most certainly is just that.

I try and walk a fine line and frequently fail.

I like many of the men and women who work for the Evil Empire. I owe the start of my journalism “career” to one or two of them.

But when you cash the check from Canada, you make your decision. You put on the Stormtrooper armor, you are the bad guys.

Call it self righteousness. Call it me being an ass. Pick your favorite.

The reality is, this blog is kickin’ the big, fat, way overpaid butts of the Whidbey News-Times, Examiner and South Whidbey Record.

I have produced more than 1,200 articles in the first year and run billions of photos. I have taken a chunk of your audience away, a younger generation that will not return.

I am faster. I know more people. I consistently break more news than you do. I write about the athletes you have never heard of, the athletes you ignore, the athletes you marginalize.

I am beating you and will continue to do so.

And you know why? Because I still believe in the pipe dream of “independent journalism.”

I abuse my typing fingers in the dish pit — they bear slashes and cuts, grooves washed out by the salty waters of twice-daily swims in Penn Cove — and I wake up in the middle of many a night with my hands feeling like they’re broken.

Some days there is a deep buzz in my fingers, a stiffness put there by a job that wasn’t fun at 18 and is a real pain at 42.

That buzz in my fingers drives me, however. It gives me that edge of crankiness that makes me write at 3 AM, when you’re sleeping on beds filled with downy-soft imported feathers bought on your cushy Canuck pensions.

Fear the man with the buzz in his fingers.

Year one was showing you how just how you would lose this battle. Year two is going to get a whole lot more painful.

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A supporter (NOT the creator of the Facebook page) of NAS Whidbey's OLF.

A supporter (NOT the creator of the Facebook page) of NAS Whidbey’s OLF.

The movement begins.

The movement begins.

It’s the story the Canadian-funded papers tried to get, but couldn’t. So I did.

I know people. People who know people. People who know people who know … OK, you get it.

When a small group of big money gadabouts went after NAS Whidbey’s OLF, trying to shut down flights that had been going on for decades, many in the Navy community were ticked off. A few have done something about it.

One of the more prominent is a Navy wife who kick-started the “I Support the NASWI OLF” facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/ISUPPORTTHENASWIOLF?hc_location=stream), which has already picked up more than 2,400 “likes” in a matter of days.

A focal point in the drive to fight back against a group that threatens their jobs, and, in many people’s perspectives, national security, the page drives the resistance.

Now, in an exclusive (suck it, Canada), we present her story.

And while she prefers to keep her name out of the spotlight, believing she is just one of countless who are fighting the good fight, we can tell you this — she is obsessed with Christmas, is one of the most genuinely sweet people I know (but with a biting sense of humor) and is not going to back down. Ever.

In her own words:

If you had told me two months ago that I would create a Facebook page that would help in a very important crusade I would have laughed at you. Yet, here I am, and here you are, and I’m not laughing.

My love of planes and the military started when I was a little girl. I was raised an Army brat.

I spent several years in Germany where my mom worked for “Donutland”. She would take me to Rhein-main Air Force Base where we would go onto the flight line to sell donuts.

I would hear the planes closer than most civilians or dependents my age ever would.  I remember getting goosebumps seeing the planes up close and personal.

I remember the guys coming out in their uniforms to buy out all of our donuts (even the cake donuts, which were always the last to go).

They LOVED that my mom would bring her kids with her. They always said it reminded them of home. It was at that point that I fell in love with the military.

Didn’t matter the branch. They were my heroes.

That is the basis for why the military means so much to me. It’s my history and my future.

Personally, I try to stay current by reading the news daily. I even have the Whidbey New-Times app.

When I started reading what people had to say about the Navy’s presence on Whidbey Island I didn’t really understand what all of the fuss was about. In my world everyone appreciated the military.

Boy, was I wrong!

When I started following the OLF situation I would read the comments after each story and think one of two things: 1) good point, or 2) what an idiot.

I read comments like “I was here first”, “health and public safety”, “we are forced to live in a war zone”‘ or “my family has lived here since dirt was created”. What are we, four years old?

There are comments from those who moved by the OLF before the Noise Disclosures were required. They act like they didn’t know there was a HUGE landing strip in the middle of a field. Are you blind? Did nothing in your head register “uh, what’s that for and why does it look used”?

Of course, on a whole different playing field are those that signed the Noise Disclosure who apparently thought to themselves “self, the planes won’t be that bad”.

Did they not realize that the military is an ever-evolving machine? They must have thought that the government would come up with a whisper-quiet plane.

The government isn’t going to install a Prius engine in their planes. Those planes need oomph to get in the air (and if you’ve ever been behind a Prius on Snoqualmie Pass you know they ain’t got oomph). That’s just logical thinking.

Now they want to have the OLF closed because THEY made a bad decision. So, their bad decision is something they expect the rest of us to pay for.

If they think for one moment that we all won’t pay for it they are highly mistaken.

To me, those people are selfish and irresponsible. We are all adults here. When we make mistakes we should take responsibility for them.

When we buy property we should do our research and check out the neighborhood. As my husband and I were looking for a home we did our research.

We wanted a certain side of town. We wanted to be nearer to some things and further from others. We saw our house twice before buying it. We were familiar to the neighborhood. We made an INFORMED decision.

When we signed the documents I read every page so I would understand what I was getting myself into.

So, when these people spout off about the sound of the planes making their eyes pop out/eardrums burst, being here before this plane or that plane, or “our quality of life is greatly diminished” it reeks of ignorance and poor decision-making skills on their part.

If they aren’t willing to take the blame for their ignorance, then they need to focus their anger on the county for allowing the area around the OLF to be developed.

Just because you can build a house at the end of a landing strip doesn’t mean you should. It definitely doesn’t mean that you should buy said house.

The fact of the matter is that the Navy is part of keeping this country safe. The pilots need their training and they get that training at the OLF.

The Ault Field Base has its own operations to manage, so throwing into the mix the OLF traffic is ludicrous, unsafe, unsustainable, and selfish.

As for Pickard and his sheeple … our Facebook page has gone from 400 members to 2,400+ in ONE WEEK! Your page is holding steady at 51.

So, if you think for one moment that we will go quietly into the night you are mistaken. Honey, we are just getting started!

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"This is me at 46% cuteness factor. You can't handle me at 100%!" (Photo by Warder Photo)

“This is me at 46% cuteness factor. You can’t handle me at 100%!” (Malinda Warder photo)

Mark August 6 on your calendar, cause that’s the day we blow up the Whidbey News-Times’ contest.

Coupevillesports.com readers have already taken down several online voting contests before, with the high point being when we slapped ATM (and their maids and butlers) silly in an Everett Herald contest to pick which football team was the best in the Cascade Conference.

Wolf Nation takes great delight in kickin’ your pampered fanny.

But now we turn our sights on the Canadian-funded rag’s Oh Baby, Baby Cutest Baby Photo Contest.

Submissions are being rounded up through Monday, Aug. 15 at 11:59 AM. At noon that day (and for the next two weeks) votes are tallied and one baby will rise to claim the title, “Highlander”-style.

That baby should be Gracen Joiner, the offspring of former Wolf mega-star Tina (Lyness) Joiner, the beast of the basketball hardwood, and Jason Joiner, a pretty good CHS football player who has to accept he’s the second-best athlete in his house.

So, prime your voting finger, mark Aug. 6 on the calendar, bask in the cuteness that is young Mr. Gracen and prepare to unleash holy hell on the Canucks. It’s the right thing to do.

http://pnwlocalnews.upickem.net/engine/Details.aspx?p=A&c=95578&s=39801860&i=1

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Dost I dare show my face in C-Town?

Dost I dare show my face in C-Town?

“It’s called COUPEVILLE SPORTS, man, not make the South Enders feel better about living on the wrong end of the Island Sports!!”

The backlash to the backlash begins.

For 10 months, I have chafed South Whidbey High School, their athletes, school administrators (who unofficially banned me from their school, but won’t admit it publicly, which would give me another half-assed cause to rant about) and, most notably, their fans.

The Falcons are Coupeville’s closest rival, in proximity and size and they’re easy to tweak, since they get so passively-aggressively riled about it.

If silent, vaguely-disapproving glares could kill my soul, I would have died a painful death during the basketball playoff games in the Langley gym last winter.

But now, to the horror of my die-hard red-and-black-wearing fan base, I’ve gone and scandalized the world by writing not one, but two, positive, non-snarky feature stories about SWHS athletes — Maia Sparkman and Parker Collins.

There’s even a chance there will be more, as Cassie Neil and Tera Applegate have said yes to the idea.

Which leads some Wolf fans to loudly scream that I’ve sold my soul to the hippie devils.

Maybe. Just a bit.

But if I have, I did it for several reasons.

One, as more and more South Enders read the blog, if they realize I’m willing to be fair to their Falcons — at least some of the time — there’s a chance a couple of them decide, what the hey, let’s advertise on the fastest-rising sports web site on Whidbey Island.

Could happen. Should happen.

My contact info is located under “David’s Best Ever Friends” and my rates are exceedingly reasonable. Just saying.

It also gives me another chance to head-slap the Canadian-owned newspapers of this Island. Right hand hits the Whidbey News-Times, left hand smacks the Whidbey Examiner, then both heads whip back and bonk the South Whidbey Record Three Stooges-style.

Cause, despite all the filthy lucre the Canadian Corporate Overlords up in Moosejaw seem to be willing to pump into their pale versions of what once were proud papers — they flat out aren’t doing the job. And man, the Record provides the slowest, thinnest coverage of them all.

Those two features on Sparkman and Collins — from a part-timer who DOESN’T EVEN COVER SOUTH WHIDBEY — trumps what the Record has produced in the last year. Ouch.

And thirdly, you always have to keep ’em guessing. No one expects Coupeville Sports to cover cars running into buildings in Oak Harbor, but every time I do, the page views roll in … just like the cars do before hitting the wall.

Now, let’s be honest here.

Once a new high school season starts up and the Wolves go back to pounding on the Falcons (we own The Bucket in football, baseball and softball spanked you hard and in golf, your best golfers were … Coupeville kids … so facts are facts), will I offend again?

Will I remind the folks in Langley that their former mayor enjoys jail food? Probably.

And they’ll surely remind me of their deeply-held belief that Coupeville smells like poop.

But I DON’T hate South Whidbey. Some of my favorite people were born and raised there.

I can celebrate their athletes — who seem like really intelligent, well-spoken, talented young men and women — and still poke the South End and its high school for not being as awesome as Coupeville is, in my eyes.

There’s a big difference between hate and spirited rivalry.

Hate is what a person feels for carpetbaggers who profit off of other people’s writing, then sell out the heritage of proud papers to maple syrup-chuggin’ robber barons who promptly erase that paper’s history (and all the bylines).

THOSE are the people deserving of a righteous head slap.

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