All things end. (Image property of Warner Brothers)
I don’t know if this is the final chapter for all time, but it is for now.
After 5,141 articles (and just shy of a million page hits all-time) over the past 4.5 years, I am bringing Coupeville Sports to an end.
Today is April 3rd, not 1st, but just so there are no misunderstandings, it’s not a joke.
I’m not messing with you, pulling the rug out, then chuckling as I backpedal.
This is the end, and I realize it’s sudden and ill-timed, but it is what it is.
The awkward timing is partially brought about by a cold, hard fact — for my blog to continue, I have to give WordPress its yearly $99 payment Tuesday.
While I had originally considered bringing Coupeville Sports to an end after spring sports finish their run, walking away in conjunction with a school year coming to a close, that $99 is forcing my hand.
If I pay, I’m not going to walk away a month and a half later and essentially light most of that cash on fire on my way out the door.
Pay, you stay.
And, now, at this moment in time, I can’t stay.
I am tired.
Physically, a bit, though nothing to be concerned about. Mainly emotionally and mentally.
I am not sick. I do not have a secret illness.
I just need quiet.
That path was started when I got rid of my house phone and refused to accept a cell phone.
Now, if I let Coupeville Sports go, which I have viewed as a 24/7/365 occupation, I can also let Facebook and Twitter go, and that will help quite a bit.
I will retain my email account (the old-school davidsvien@hotmail.com), since I have family which might want to contact me once in awhile, but that’s it.
I am not a social person, and that has grown stronger over time.
While it might be a little hard to truly become a hermit in 2017 (there are two roads right outside my duplex), stepping away from social media and stepping away from obsessively staying on top of school sporting activities should help me head at least a little bit in that direction.
How long that will be for, I don’t know. As I said, I don’t know that this is the true end.
I do know the past 4.5 years have had their ups and downs, but the past two years are what is likely bringing this decision to a head.
After balancing a real-world job with Coupeville Sports for 2.5 years, I left Christopher’s on Whidbey June 1, 2015.
It was going to be a brief break, time to let my fingers and back stop hurting from the day-to-day realities of being a dishwasher and sometimes onion peeler.
And yet here I am, almost two years later, still without a real job. Mainly because I didn’t look for one.
There were several reasons for that.
After I left the dish pit, I was in a relationship with a woman with mental health issues (obviously, since she wanted to spend time with me), which went really good, then really, really badly.
There’s no reason to rehash everything, other than to say this — you haven’t really lived until you’ve sat in open court and watched someone hand the judge an FBI Most Wanted Poster and insist that the person pictured is you.
Spoiler: it was not me on the poster.
This time.
I have battled depression for many years, and watching someone I cared about have a psychotic break didn’t help.
So I buried myself in my writing, and somehow, month by month, managed to scrape together just enough money to stay gainfully unemployed.
Coupeville Sports would not be where it is today if it weren’t for all the people who donated money, bought ads, baked me goodies or wrote positive notes.
From time to time there have been others who appreciated what I did a little less, and that helped, in a strange way, as well.
Either as inspiration to change, or inspiration to roll my eyes.
Whatever negative reaction came was generally because a player or a parent from a rival school thought their teams were being slighted and I was making too much of Coupeville’s accomplishments.
That argument kind of comes to a skidding halt if you realize, A) I never said I was impartial and B) the name of the blog kind of spoils the mystery of whom I’m going to be celebrating.
Go start your own blog and keep it going for 5,000+ articles. Boom, problem solved.
In the end, I would argue I could have been far, far more savage, if that was truly my goal (or if I had done Coupeville Sports anonymously…)
On the other hand, I also acknowledge that some, like Klahowya soccer star Izzy Severns, who counseled me with wisdom far beyond her years, were often right.
You don’t have to be a turd just to be a turd.
Hopefully, in the end, I showed Izzy I could grow … at least a little bit.
Through it all, good times and bad (and it was mainly good) I kept Coupeville Sports going by keeping my personal bills to a bare minimum and stretching every dollar I had.
The reality is a blog obsessively devoted to small-town sports, especially when that small town is smack dab in the middle of a rock in the water, is NEVER going to be profitable.
There are only so many ads to sell, and I painted myself into a corner with that early on, when I sold my ads for the “life of the blog.”
I don’t regret that, because in the first days, people who gave me money were tossing it into the wind, with no assurance I wouldn’t be like the “South Whidbey Sports” blog which died a brutal death after two badly-written articles.
That they got 4.5+ years out of that initial investment is probably still a shock.
As I head into April, I again face the onslaught of reality — my limited funds are about to run out again.
I might get lucky and land another ad or some donations, keeping me away from a real job for another month or two.
Every time I thought the jig was up over the last two years, something has happened. It’s been uncanny.
But, I am tired. And I can’t keep asking people to fund my writing, even if they likely would.
I need time away. Time to silence the roar in my head and think about where I am going in life.
Four weeks from now, I hit another birthday, and, at some point, I guess, I should make some rational decisions.
Has to happen at some point in my life.
Cause, when it comes down to it, I’m not sure my sister wants my retirement years (still pretty far off) to be spent hassling her about letting me live in a tent in her backyard.
So, this is the end for Coupeville Sports. At least my version of it.
If someone else steps up, maybe a talented high school kid, and starts their own blog, I’ll give them the thumbs-up, from a distance.
Doesn’t have to stop.
Just not gonna be me doing it right now.
So, thank you, for the support, financial and otherwise, and for reading.
I’ll see you on the other side.
