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Archive for the ‘Ranting and Raving’ Category

  Maybe the crowning moment of my journalism “career” — the one great sports photo I ever took. He’s flyin’, man!!

Twenty years ago, give or take a week or so, Fred Obee made the biggest mistake of his life.

I was NOT going to college and refused to leave the man alone, hanging around the Whidbey News-Times’ offices day and night (I worked in the mailroom/pressroom, back when the WNT actually was printed on-site in Oak Harbor, then scrambled for freelance writing work), harassing Obee, the paper’s editor, every time he tried to sneak out for a cigarette or a can of Coke.

Sports Editors were coming and going at the paper at a rapid rate in those days, using the twice-weekly paper as a springboard to bigger opportunities.

So, as we headed into the fall sports season, circa 1992, the paper had a hole to fill and an assistant editor (Keven Graves) anxious to stop covering the sports beat and get back to his real duties.

And sure, the News-Times could hire another fresh-out-of-journalism school slickster — and then fill the spot again in a year — or Obee could shut me up, since sending me to cover stories ranging from a mass of dead star fish at the beach to the Bigfoot “expert” who camped out in the paper’s office and refused to leave until someone talked to him, wasn’t working.

Then, like now, I apparently had an inability to shut up at the opportune time.

So, after staring intently at me for a looooooong time and then suddenly laughing for no reason, an Obee trademark, as he knew it caused most people to freak the heck out, he gave me the keys to the kingdom.

21 years old. Not a day of college.

A complete lack of knowledge when it came to laying out a section (my first month, I took the examples from a journalism book and forced my stories and photos to ruthlessly fit the pre-sized holes).

A shocking willingness to play fast and loose with the AP style book.

And there I was, an “editor,” which meant virtually no one saw the sports section until it hit the street. Cause I was supposedly mature and all or I wouldn’t be in the position, now would I?

Fred Obee was the single greatest editor I could have had at that time and place.

Other people have had a big influence on my writing (Lionel Barona, Jim Waller, Ellen Hiatt, Kasia Pierzga, Keven Graves, the little league parent who threatened to shoot me with a shotgun if I showed up on his property), but Obee (and photographer Geoff Newton, who taught me to fight The Man, but that’s a different story) is the defining figure of my on-again, off-again life as an ink-stained wretch.

He knew when to use the whip and when to let me flounder and when to just freak me the heck out by slowly walking past my desk at deadline time, saying not a word, just smiling devilishly, pausing for a moment, then chuckling and walking outside on the second floor patio to have a smoke.

He let me run wild for two plus years, until I flamed out in what would be the first of many bridge-burning “up yours” offered to the world at large.

I ran (bad) poetry about high school golf, a photo of a baby bouncing a basketball I found in the bottom of the Sports Editors desk, the single largest headline in the paper’s 100-year-plus history (SARPY RULES!! could be seen from space, or at least from the other side of town after Burger King papered their windows with the section), almost got us sued at least once, almost got punched twice, got an alarming number of letters to the editor (pre-internet) referring to me as “an idiot,” and learned several truths about newspaper life.

One, 99% of my day was to be spent shooting rubber bands at the other reporters and 1% jacked out of my mind on caffeine, madly typing on deadline (while ignoring Mary Kay Doody repeatedly beating her telephone against the paper-thin cubicle wall that separated us).

Two, always, and I mean always, run the picture where one kid has his tongue hanging out as he flies through the air and the other kid looks like he just took a shot to the crotch and wants his mommy.

In 20 years, they’ll appreciate it when they get to show it to their kids.

And when a pissed-off five-foot-nothing girl drops a much larger basketball opponent with one punch to the bottom of the jaw, inciting a near-riot (single most exciting moment of my journalism career), DO compare her to Joe Louis. That’s gold, Jerry, gold!!

A lot of high school sports coverage, past and present, is dull, dry and routine. For some, that’s enough. They call those people “well-adjusted adults who like holding on to their benefits and not ticking off the school administration.”

And that’s fine, cause a year down the road, no one is going to remember a single thing they ever wrote.

You gotta burn, baby, burn. Be the urban legend more respectable writers whisper about while clucking their tongues.

My advice for young writers is simple — if you can’t work the words “sweet son of a goat lickin’ whore” into at least one story, you’re not trying hard enough.

And, most importantly, find your Fred Obee (the original one is working in Port Townsend, if you’re looking), and then learn how to stop one step before he has to boot your butt to the curb.

But always go to that last step.

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The boy has moves.

One of the nice things about writing a blog and not writing for a professional newspaper is I can just randomly write about anything I darn well choose.

So, right now, I take a moment to point you to Shelli Trumbull’s newest photo album on Facebook, where she documents the car wash put on today at Windermere Realty to help raise funds for Living Hope Foursquare Church pastor Garrett Arnold, as he recovers from injuries suffered in a fall.

From the pictures it looks like they had a nice turnout, both in terms of people giving up their Saturday to help a beloved member of the community and his family, and in the number of cars they made sparkle.

But this is a sports blog you say. Exactly. One look at the pics and you can see a vast array of Wolf stars, past, present and future. Former Wolf diamond ace Alexis Trumbull, current flamethrower Aaron Trumbull, one-time CHS sports stud/BMOC Jon Roberts and his star-of-the-future son Landon Roberts (he gets a huge chunk of his talent from mom Sherry (Bonacci) Roberts, a former Wolf Athlete of the Year.)

And, of course, none casts a bigger shadow than Hunter Hammer, the six-foot-six, shot put-crushing, rim-rattling beast who brought me more page hits than any other CHS athlete, ever. Plus, the last name … oh, a sportswriter’s dream come too. So many bad puns. So many uses of the words “I will crush you!”

I wept many a salty tear when I lost Hammer Time to college sports. But then I inherited his sister, Hailey Hammer, and the headline-writing good times have never stopped.

So when you put page-hit king Hunter Hammer drying a car in an unorthodox manner in an award-worthy pic by Shelli Trumbull, it’s an easy call. It’s gold, gold I say!! You run that sucker and you run it now!!!!

Pardon me while I go scream for them to STOP THE PRESSES and … oh, wait, I’m not using any presses. Fine, then, with your modern URLs and internetty tube thingees, just go here and enjoy:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.465406800146536.106948.100000316601396&type=1

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Coupeville’s golfing dynasty, from left, Austin, Christine and Mike Fields, AKA “The Man Who Is Going to beat King Felix.”

Get your voting fingers ready — it’s time to mess with someone else.

We beat the best that big, bad ATM could throw at us when it came to the Everett Herald’s “Pick the Cascade Conference Football Champ” poll, with Coupeville sitting on top right now 297 votes to 294 after attacks, counter-attacks, some throwing of mud by sideline participants, and counter-counter-counter-attacks.

Heck, the Wolves have amassed more votes than the third (Lakewood) and fourth (King’s) team did combined. South Whidbey? Well, we’ll just assume the internet is still out down there on the dark end of the Island.

But now your voting finger is bored and needs a new challenge. A bigger challenge. A probably impossible but what the heck challenge.

I send you (and your voting finger) to Evening Magazine’s Best of Western Washington, and the battle for Best Pro Athlete.

It’s a heady field, with Mariners hurler Felix Hernandez, Storm sensation Sue Bird and ageless wonder soccer goalie Kasey Keller as the top three vote choices so far. In this season of the perfect game, it would appear that Felix would be unbeatable.

But that’s where we, the poll busters, come in.

Currently sitting at number five, ahead of departed icon Ichiro, fast left-turner Kasey Kahne and speed skater/”Dancing With the Stars” champ Apolo Ohno, is one of Whidbey Island’s own — golf pro Mike Fields, dad of CHS lone Wolf golfers Austin and Christine Fields and a pretty fair linksman in his own right.

So sure, you could vote for the millionaire you see on TV, or you could vote for a talented guy who you might actually run into the next time you find yourself in a local grocery store or on a golf course.

One vote results in a ho-hum, saw-that-coming-a-mile-away result. The other will blow the rogue off of King 5’s news crew 36 days from now, as they try and figure out how Wolf Nation just messed with the pollsters again.

It’s an easy choice.

http://best.king5.com/mike-fields/biz/630778?c=93c5be300726fe60&r=short

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“You spoke of cookies, my good man?”

I have a fan.

After taking four days off to visit the nephews — and destroy the sleeping habits of the little guys (“No, dear mother, there appears to be cookies downstairs, and having convinced Uncle David to give in to my puppy dog eyes, I shant be taking a nap today”) I returned to find that my recent tirade against the “brains” behind ATM football (https://coupevillesports.com/2012/08/24/47-reasons-to-detest-atm/) had quickly become my most-read story in the short history of this blog.

I also had my first hate mail, from an S. Sinex, who lists themselves as an ATM alumni parent.

He/she(?) wrote, and I quote:

The ignorant have never spoken so confidently and so erroneously. Your career has obviouly reached its zenith in Coupeville. Like those sour grapes?

To which I reply:

A) You haven’t read very much of my writing. I often speak confidently about things of which I have little knowledge. It’s sort of a trademark.

B) My career has reached its zenith in Coupeville? Possibly, but at least I don’t have to live in Everett (boo-yah!) and down here in the sticks we do teach our kids how to spell obviously … or, at least how to use spell-check.

C) Sour grapes? No, I prefer blueberries and peaches. I would put sour grapes about 23rd on my list of favorite fruit and … oh wait, I have misunderstood your clever wordplay, being a country rube and all.

D) ATM’s decision to bounce Dave Ward? Still the work of mental midgets.

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Where’s Dave, man?

I’m takin’ it on the lam.

I’ve been producing sports stories at such a frantic clip this last week — all while still selling sweet, sweet booze at Thirsty Town — that the FBI has determined I may be a cyborg from the future and has put out a warrant on me.

So I gots to go underground for a bit.

Well … either that, or I’m going to visit my three nephews for a few days.

Yeah, probably the second. At least that’s my cover story, and I’m sticking to it.

Anyway, I’ll be semi-off the grid for a few days (and missing from the waters of Penn Cove) and probably won’t do much of anything here on the web site until I get back to Whidbey on Wednesday. But, never fear, I will be back in time for the official start of fall sports 2012, which comes Thursday, Aug. 30 (how is that fall?!?!) when the Wolf gridiron squad travels to Bellevue Christian to begin the tagging and bagging of hapless foes.

Till then, I would direct you to the pages of the papers produced by Sound Publishing, but apparently when you work for the Evil Empire, you can get paid handsomely NOT to do much work these days. So you all might need to just take a nap for a few days.

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