“Dance to the music, my minions!” (Larry Grella cartoon)
The internet is a weird place.
Randomly type in something like, “Bow Down to Cow Town,” and you may find out Coupeville isn’t the only place to embrace said concept.
Oh, it’s true.
Sitting there on SoundCloud, with 160 views, is a rap song with just that name, uploaded two years ago, credited to JMB, featuring JSN.
The main rapper, who hasn’t uploaded anything new in a year, is apparently one Matt Baltazar, and appears to be a teenager or young adult.
It might be my imagination, but he sort of looks like a cross between Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite and former Coupeville hoops star Risen Johnson.
Other than that, there’s not much info out on there on the internet about our music man.
And his song?
It veers a little away from Coupeville, with him rapping in support of an athletic team wearing blue and gold, instead of red and black.
But it does have plenty of rhymes about “suckers and haters” needing to “Bow Down to Cow Town,” so about 95% of its two-minute-plus running time could be lifted and used in support of the Wolves.
On the slim (shady) chance the mysterious JMB stumbles across this story while doing his own internet time-wasting, he should think about a road trip to perform live on Whidbey Island.
Until then, it’s another internet quirk, something you probably didn’t need to be told about, but hey … content.
If nothing else, in the words of our maestro, “If you didn’t know, you do now.”
The song:
Coupeville Sports 