Coupeville Sports

   Win for Lincoln Kelley or he’ll have to go rip the computer’s heart out with his bare hands. (John Fisken photo)

Dear Coupeville High School football players,

The computers think you stink.

There’s really no other way to look at it, since that’s what “Debbie,” the diabolical and vehemently anti-Whidbey computer at the heart of ScoreCzar.org is burping out right now.

In her latest rankings, she has the Wolves ranked #52 … out of 53 schools playing 1A football.

That’s right. Debbie thinks you could beat Stevenson, a school that has been outscored 91-7 in its first two games, but just about no one else.

Granted, you are 0-2 on the young season, but you were within two points with six minutes to play in your opening game, and lost to a 2A school that had a line comprised almost entirely of 300-pound beasts last week.

So, I think Debbie is underestimating you here, by a lot.

But this? This is what should really sting.

Coupeville’s opponent this Friday, Chimacum, is also 0-2. Oh, but wait, the Cowboys have actually lost 14 consecutive games covering nearly a two-year period.

And yet, Debbie has them ranked 12 slots higher than you at #40.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

I know. I know.

Debbie’s handlers can, and will, reel off a list of smooth computery talk about ratios this and slide rules that and it’ll sound almost convincing, but don’t listen.

Just stop and realize the computers say a team that hasn’t won since 2013 is somehow 12 slots better than you.

Then go out and drop-kick Chimacum Friday night.

Do it for yourself. Do it for your teammates. Do it for your town.

Tell our computer overlords that Wolves do not go quietly into that good night. Instead, they live to make Debbie cry sweet, sweet tears of regret.

To see the complete rankings, which feature Coupeville’s 1A Olympic League mate Port Townsend at #2, pop over to:

http://www.scoreczar.org/classifications/4-high-school-football-wa1a