The Olympic/Nisqually League football conference took a shot to the chin Friday night.
Well, actually it was more like seven shots.
Wrapping up non-league play, seven of the eight teams in the conference absorbed losses, including Cascade Christian, which entered the night ranked #4 in 1A.
The only one to escape the carnage was Bellevue Christian, and that’s only because its game against Chelan is a Saturday affair.
So, when Coupeville fell 55-14 at seventh-ranked Nooksack Valley, victim of future D-1 college quarterback Casey Bauman, the Wolves were in good company.
Port Townsend was blasted by Mount Baker (48-7), Vashon Island was decimated by Concrete (66-0), Chimacum was annihilated by Forks (52-7) and Charles Wright was stuffed by Rochester (21-7).
The only close games came with Cascade Christian being upset by Meridian (34-29) and Klahowya being nipped by Granite Falls (27-22).
The good news for all involved is the seven-game league schedule kicks off next Friday, Sept. 22, which means we’ll see four winners guaranteed.
If Coupeville, now 2-1 on the season, is looking for even better news, it is this — it likely won’t face anyone as dangerous as Bauman the rest of the way.
Any Wolf fans wondering why Montana State has signed the 6-foot-6 gunslinger to a scholarship had that promptly answered on a night when the pungent smell of manure from nearby fields hung heavy over the Pioneers home turf.
Bauman was handed the ball six times in the first half Friday, and he turned that into six Nooksack touchdowns.
After opening with a pair of scoring runs, a one-yard zig and a 14-yard zag, he began using his cannon-like arm, showing off precise targeting, impeccable timing and remarkable Zen-like composure.
His four scoring strikes through the air, three which went to favorite receiver Austin O’Bryan, covered 15, 34, 72 and 27 yards and featured not a single noticeable wobble.
There were moments the Wolf defense, having busted through Nooksack’s beefy line (think multiple versions of Billy Bob from Varsity Blues), made Bauman move a bit.
Heck, they even brought him down once, with Tyler McCalmont and Julian Welling sandwiching him on a sack.
But the rest of the night Bauman glided, side-stepping Wolf rushers, never seeming to break a sweat as he waited for the defense to give him an opening, a brief crack — which he then promptly exploited with laser-like throws.
At one point he casually reached out, put his hand on an approaching Coupeville defender’s helmet and gently stiff-armed the Wolf to the ground with a flick of his wrist, basically looking like a large cat toying with a pesky ball of yarn.
Then promptly ripped off a gorgeous aerial bomb which dropped like a feather at the last second, nestling into his receiver’s hands for another score.
In short, Bauman was as silky as the Raspberry Sweet Cream Cheese Crepes I had at IHop on the way home.
The first, and only time, Coupeville stopped him for good came on the opening drive of the third quarter — Bauman’s final series — when a botched pitch at the Wolf two-yard line resulted in a fumble and Nooksack’s only turnover on the night.
The Wolves had little hope of a comeback at that point, having trailed 20-0 after one quarter and 49-7 at the half, but they did pick up a few highlights of their own before the game was done.
CHS quarterback Hunter Downes tossed a pair of touchdowns, connecting with birthday boy Sean Toomey-Stout on a 45-yard catch-and-run and Hunter Smith on an 85-yard hookup.
It was Smith’s fourth receiving touchdown of the season — he’s caught at least one in each game this season — and the 17th of his career. That ties him with Chad Gale for the school’s career record.
Downes, who spent a fair amount of time scrambling for his life, was resilient, staying on his feet 99.8% of the game and putting up what should be close to 200 yards through the air.
The two TD tosses gives him eight through the first three games.
Toomey-Stout, who leads Coupeville in tackles from his spot in the defensive backfield, made an impression on the sizable Nooksack crowd, repeatedly flying from side to side to bring down Pioneer ball-handlers.
While the Wolves didn’t score until their seventh possession, finally breaking into the end zone with 1:29 left in the first half, they did move the ball on the Nooksack defense and had just one turnover. That came on a bobbled snap on a punt attempt.
Chris Battaglia pounded away for yardage on the ground, picking up 55 yards in the first half (unofficially), with runs of 18 and 12 yards.
Downes also slid a 12-yard pass into Matt Hilborn’s hands and Smith brought back a first-half kickoff 30+ yards, just barely missing a chance to take it to the house.
With the game winding down, the Wolves mixed things up a bit, with Dawson Houston and Shane Losey getting snaps under center and young guns like Gavin Straub and Jean Lund-Olsen earning their most substantial playing time of the season on defense.
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