It’s a big, wild world of mascots out there. It’s time to think beyond Wolves.
We are the Wolves, but so is everyone else.
Coupeville High School shares a mascot with at least six other Washington state high schools, including one rival we face a lot.
That’s Sequim, the school which produced current CHS Athletic Director Willie Smith.
But if Coupeville were to play Black Hills, Eastlake, Muckleshoot Tribal, South Kitsap or Wapato, it would offer an equal amount of confusion.
And that’s not to mention our former Cascade Conference rival, the Cedarcrest Red Wolves, or the schools — Goldendale, Heritage, Jackson, Morton-White Pass and Tekoa-Rosalia — which celebrate Timberwolves.
Frankly, it’s time to mix things up.
The closest real wolf pack as of June 2016 is halfway across the state, with the vast majority of wolves camped out in upper Eastern Washington these days.
We have no real connection to the animal here on Whidbey, and that’s never going to change, barring a wild and illogical plan being hatched to relocate a pack to Deception Pass State Park to weed out the weaker tourists.
It’s just a mascot we have for no particular reason (much like Oak Harbor’s Wildcats and South Whidbey’s Falcons) and it lumps us into a large gray mass in the middle.
Now would be a great time to change mascots, build a new brand, sell a lot of merchandise and catch everyone’s attention.
How, you ask?
By actually hailing our heritage or surroundings and doing so in a fun manner that would get people talking (and t-shirts flying out the door).
By being unique.
Let’s break from the pack (nudge, nudge…) and join the likes of the Davenport Gorillas, the Quincy Jackrabbits, the Ridgefield Spudders or the Northwest Yeshiva 613s.
And yes, that last one is real. The school is offering a shout-out to the number of commandments in the Torah.
While calling ourselves the Coupeville Head-Loppers (in tribute to Isaac Ebey’s final encounter with the natives) would probably be frowned upon, imagine if we were the Coupeville Clams (Killer Clams?), Sea Captains or Mussels.
For one thing, the new student chant “We are the mighty, mighty Mussels” practically writes itself.
Heck, there are enough cows (“Bow Down to Cow Town”) and Raccoons (“Rabies, Rabies, You’re all Gettin’ Rabies”) in our town that both make more sense than Wolves.
Or, pay tribute to the Puget Sound mosquito fleets (“The Coupeville Mosquitoes drained the life blood out of the Cowboys”).
Choose creatively — don’t wuss out like Port Townsend did when they replaced Redskins with RedHawks, passing on Riptides and Sasquatch — then craft a memorable logo.
No one outside of our immediate fan base is buying Coupeville Wolves merchandise.
The Coupeville Cows, with a cartoon heifer doing the Heisman pose, or the Coupeville Killer Clams (with a saucy cartoon mollusk striking an Arnold Schwarzenegger pose?
We’re talking Biloxi Shuckers or Hartford Yard Goats style money for days.
Translation: 17 random guys in Michigan who couldn’t tell you where Washington state was on a map suddenly all want to wear your gear.
We’re sitting on a financial windfall here, and we just need someone in power brave enough to stand up and say, “I have seen the future … and it’s full of mighty, mighty Mussels, baby!!”
Coupeville Sports 