Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Football’ Category

      Debbie, meet Nick Streubel. Debbie … prepare to die an unholy death. (Robert Pelant photos)

“The computer picked AGAINST you?!?!? I am shocked! Shocked I say!”

26-17? Oh Debbie, you tease, you.

For those who don’t know, “Debbie” is the evil, evil tramp of a football game-pickin’ computer that hangs out with Scott Odiorne, the ScoreCzar (https://sites.google.com/a/scoreczar.com/scoreczar/washington-football), who seems like a genuinely nice, extremely smart guy — except for that whole hanging out with evil, evil computers thing.

I first became aware of Mr. Odiorne, a number crunching pigskin guru of impeccable taste and Debbie, that slattern, after she picked Coupeville to lose 40-0 to King’s last week.

I invoked the spirit of Ferris Bueller in what turned out to be a futile bid to spark The Upset of the Century (the Wolves fell 51-7, scoring a touchdown to spite that harlot, Debbie) and may have said one or two negative things about Debbie, that trollop.

To his credit, Mr. Odiorne, who is really quite good at what he does, appreciated my sense of humor. Debbie, that woman of ill repute, I’m not so sure about. She mumbled something about messing with my credit report, then cackled for several minutes.

Well, the joke’s on her, as my credit report already makes grown men weep. You can’t make that thing any worse than it already is…

But back to present day, and Debbie, that wench, has decreed that Coupeville will fall 26-17 at Sultan this Friday in the regular season finale.

To which I say, are we going to let that … that hussy, get the better of Wolf Nation two weeks in a row?!?!?

I say win, Coupeville. Not for the Gipper, but to make Debbie, that mechanical tart, blow a gasket.

For humans everywhere!!

Read Full Post »

First they came for our vuvuzela horns. Then the Fun Police came for the Wobble. (Melissa Zimmerman-Losey photos)

Wobble on, Wolf Nation, wobble on…

Until the break of dawn.

To everything there is a season, and that season has passed for The Wobble.

After closing every home football game with a cheerleader-led hustle to the catchy, Cab Calloway-influenced rap song “Wobble” by Atlanta’s own V.I.C., a routine that would invariably pull in most of the remaining people in the stands, the dance is no more.

Despite the fact the song is a catchy tune, and the dance is one anyone from a little kid to a crusty 80-year-old could do, a complaint (over some semi-suggestive lyrics) led CHS cheer coach Sylvia Arnold to replace the routine in last Friday’s final home game.

The Wobble will not go inside for basketball season, disappointing much of Wolf Nation.

Which is too bad, since Arnold and assistant coach Cheridan Boyd-Eck had tailored the dance to keep it family-friendly, foregoing the original music video’s butts-in-your-face approach.

“We chose to keep focused on the fun of the “worldwide” dance that was all over YouTube,” Arnold said.

“People have flash mobbed that routine all over the place, and our girls and the crowd loved it!!”

But, ONE family complained, and, to avoid controversy, the Wobble went the way of the Hammer dance and the cha-cha, replaced by an energetic Zumba routine, “Dance! Dance! Dance!” crafted by Boyd-Eck.

“Everyone seemed to like it, even with the pouring rain,” Boyd-Eck said.

And that persistent rain may have helped, as the crowd hit the exits faster than normal.

Though, as he went, one sardonic scoreboard operator did stop, look around and bellow “I wanna wobble!!”

His plea went unanswered, so he bopped in place by himself for a few moments, shrugged, then headed off into the downpour.

Wobble on, sir, wobble on.

Read Full Post »

     Bob was not impressed with my 15 seconds of internet fame and threatened to leap to his death if I told the story again. So I ate him and we both got what we wanted.

So, apparently, King’s High School football coach Jim Shapiro knows who I am. Sort of.

Imagine my surprise this morning when I went to watch a bit of the recorded version of last night’s live internet stream (https://new.livestream.com/accounts/1336759/events/1619511) of the Coupeville-King’s football game and five minutes in, the King’s announcers were name-dropping me (and pronouncing my last name correctly!)

Seems that Shapiro had read one of my articles here on the site, the one where I called for Coupeville to pull off the upset of the century, and had passed the piece around. So, now, the announcers were talking about it, and, starting at the 31:20 mark, read the entire piece on-air.

I am blushing over here.

And, I also have to say, the announcers (there was a Tom and another guy — never caught any last names) were pretty entertaining, even when they weren’t talking about me. They had an easy-going stream of consciousness going on, sort of like Caleb Valko and Kole Kellison deliver from the press box during Wolf JV football games, and it was fun.

Sure, they were mildly condescending when they talked about the Wolves, other than a nice word or two about Jake Tumblin and Anthony Maggio. But, when your team is rolling to a 51-7 victory and, by the middle of the first quarter, you’re already looking ahead to a battle of unbeaten teams the following week, with King’s hosting Lakewood for the Cascade Conference title, it was obvious they weren’t paying complete attention to the action on the field.

But listen to them long enough and you got:

“We will not talk about nachos tonight!”

“I can not read this program. Man, they used a weird font on this program … or maybe I’m just getting old.”

“It’s good to see coach in shorts two weeks in a row now. No pants! Hey, tell that holy butt pants story…”

“I had the weirdest dream last night. There were UFOs…”

In between, they gushed about the dinner of Penn Cove mussels and Wasabi burgers they had eaten at a local restaurant, reminisced about the time one of them had come to Coupeville as a junior high basketball coach and ticked off the locals by having his players repeatedly foul the Coupeville kids and paid tribute to the admittedly large Wolf cheer squad.

“They’ve got like what, 30 girls over there? About as many girls as they have in the whole town?”

Then they read my story.

They might be an acquired taste if you’re not a King’s diehard, but, hey, I’m a fan now.

Read Full Post »

   From left to right, Wolf captains Riley Boyd, Anthony Maggio, Caleb Valko and Danny Savalza.

Caleb Valko

Danny Savalza

Riley Boyd

Anthony Maggio

Paul Schmakeit

Kole Kellison

Six Wolf gridiron monsters took their final bow before the home crowd last night, and photographer Robert Pelant used his camera to capture them in moments of quiet repose with their parents.

Enjoy.

Read Full Post »

Our patron saints, Lexie (left) and Brittany Black.

Best photo of the fall, take 1 — Wolf receiver Riley Boyd and daughter Melody.

       Best photo of the fall, take 2 — Wolf cheerleaders Julia Felici (left) and Mekare Bowen and Felici’s nephew, Drake.

Best photo of the fall, take 3 — Oh, what a night!

I am an Oscar fiend.

It probably made more sense back during my 15-year run behind the counter at Videoville and David’s DVD Den, but even now, stranded in a desolate world ruled by Netflix, nothing gets me quite as worked up as whether “Argo” is going to bring Ben Affleck a little gold man (it’s my early favorite!), or whether “Lincoln,” “Silver Linings Playbook” or “Les Miserables” will backhand pretty boy on his way to the podium.

So, in that vein, I offer my own awards show, the BLACKies, which will honor the most memorable moments in local sports. As we wind down the fall season, I’m jumping the gun a bit on a slow Saturday and handing them out early. I reserve the right to yank the awards, if any late-breaking events should so dictate.

And why the BLACKies? The awards are named in honor of Lexie (you were born with an E on your name, and it’s staying, lil’ missy!) and Brittany Black, former Wolf hoops stars and all-universe people.

I always wanted to name a blog “Lexie Black’s Block Party,” (cause she still holds the record for most blocks in a 1A state basketball game and it’s a play on words and … yeah), but figured about 13% of the audience would get it. So, you get this instead.

This is where I would introduce our host for the evening, one Milla Jovovich, but her people have yet to get back to me (fingers crossed for the winter season!!), so let’s just jump in.

BEST OVERHEARD DIALOGUE: Kole Kellison, about to climb up on top of the press box and disconnect electrical cords in the pouring rain, looking down at Kim Andrews and saying, dead-pan, “Does this school have good insurance?”

BEST SURREAL MOMENT: During a girls’ soccer game, as rain slashed down for 40 minutes running, a large pile of goldfish crackers that had been spilled in the stands begin to soak up water and blossomed to five times their size, before crumbling and gently washing away.

WORST COACH: During a blowout win, a rival volleyball coach spent the third set repeatedly checking his cell phone while ignoring the action on the floor. Apparently he had a super-intense game of “Angry Birds” going.

BEST DANCER: A tie between freshman tennis player Zane Bundy, who ruled the Homecoming float parade with his Bieber-like moves, and Wolf tennis coach Ken Stange, who claimed the Duke of Homecoming title cause he has moves like Swayze.

BEST WHAT-THE-HECK-JUST-HAPPENED MOMENT — Wolf netters Ben Etzell and Kyle Bodamer throwing themselves face-first across CEMENT courts in pursuit of balls, sacrificing skin and sanity in pursuit of tennis immortality. Chicks dig scars.

BEST OH-MY-SWEET-LORD MOMENT — With the ball hanging about two inches above his teammate’s head, a foreign exchange Friday Harbor tennis player decided to still go for an overhead, and promptly drilled the ball off of his partner’s face. The resulting whap could be heard on the mainland for the next two hours, and, while I can’t speak Korean, I am pretty sure the following exchange between the two including quite a bit of profanity.

BEST UNDER THE RADAR MOMENT — Having returned after a battle with a vicious staph infection, Wolf senior lineman Anthony Maggio crushed his blockers, forced a fumble and recovered the ball. For the two or three people in the crowd who realized what it meant, it was a small, perfect moment.

BEST TACKLE — Mitchell Losey, playing in a JV game, saving a touchdown by catching his man and then whipping him over his knee like a cowboy taking down a calf in a roping contest.

WORST BREAK — Days after I did an article on BMX riders Orion Kalt and Keegan Kortuem, Kalt went and fractured his tibia/fibula when he landed wrong on a trick and snapped his leg. That hurts just writing it. Get better soon, lil’ dude.

BEST SINGLE GAME PERFORMANCE — Ethan Loy, a seventh-grader, playing like a beast in the lone home middle school football game of the season. He was everywhere, and everywhere he was, someone got laid out cold.

BIGGEST WIN: Coupeville takes The Bucket back from South Whidbey after six years. They’re still crying in Langley. What’s new?

MOST EMOTIONAL WIN: The Wolf spikers taking Sultan down in five epic sets on Breast Cancer Awareness night. Playing for Katie and Kacie Kiel’s mom, who had been diagnosed with the disease just days before, and sparked by Steve Kiel, who shouted down an entire bleacher full of Sultan soccer players by himself, the Wolves were magnificent.

BEST NIGHT EVER (UNTIL THE NEXT ONE): “I love to see their smiles!” said one parent, as the Wolf booters broke through, won their first game of the season against Sultan, danced off the field, then came to cheer on the Wolf volleyballers during the previously mentioned victory. A fine day, indeed.

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »