Is this the face of a man who can change? We’ll see. (Photo by JohnsPhotos.net)
We have a problem.
And by “we,” I fully include myself.
Over the eight years that Coupeville Sports has existed, I have, on many occasions, written less than flattering things about various refs and umpires who have worked Wolf games.
Some of that was based on truth, or, at the least, what my admittedly biased brain believes to be the truth.
I’ve witnessed bad calls. Atrocious calls, even.
Occasionally seen what I believe to be bias at work.
Wondered how on Earth a human being can move down the field, or the court, or the diamond, with their head stuck so far up their nether regions.
While I haven’t screamed at the men and women in the stripes, I have used my bully pulpit — this blog — to share my thoughts on the subject.
Sometimes I have been funny about it. Or at least amused myself.
Other times I have been confrontational, rude, or far worse.
I don’t scream at the refs and umps, maybe, but I stoke the fire. I know that.
Oh, I will tell you I do it less today than I did two years ago, six years ago, or eight years ago, which is supposed to show growth. And it might.
But I still do it.
And I really shouldn’t.
People scream at games, and many say things which they hopefully regret later.
There’s a line between being involved, caring deeply, being protective, and just being rude asses.
It’s a line parents seem to be crossing more and more lately, and I see and hear it from Wolf fans at a level that wasn’t there in the past.
We are dangerously close to being the fans of the school other fans and schools talk about, and not in a good way.
I’m no innocent here.
My words, while initially not as loud as a parent swearing at a ref, ultimately last a lot longer, as they go into print, and live forever on the internet.
That’s probably worse.
There are rules for people who write for newspapers, rules I once lived under during a different part of this career.
Here, on my own blog, where I, and only I, edit my words, I have a great deal of freedom.
Freedom to be much more colorful in my writing style.
Freedom to cover what I want, when I want, how I want.
And, also, freedom to be an ass in a way I couldn’t be if my bylines were still running in the Whidbey News-Times or Skagit Valley Herald or Coupeville Examiner.
There is a guy deeply involved in sports in this town, a man who has seen the game from every side, as a player, a coach, a teacher, an administrator, and when he speaks, I do try and listen.
He made a good point recently, and he said it with a smile, but also with great seriousness.
That point is that, at a time when we are experiencing an unfortunate surge in parents being, frankly, asses, at their children’s games, especially in terms of what they scream at the refs and umps, I bear my share of the responsibility.
If I encourage that behavior, if I fan the flames, I’m as much of the problem as the person firing F-bombs like they’re manning an anti-aircraft gun.
I give the griping, the venting, the anger, an air of legitimacy. I celebrate it, and keep stoking the embers.
Coupeville Sports has, I don’t know if you’d call it “power,” but an ability to help shape the conversation.
It’s read by enough people, in the right demographics, and it continually surprises me how far out there in the universe my words travel on these here interwebs.
And I have to do better.
None of us here in Coupeville want to be thought of as ignorant hicks; we don’t want to be the town no one wants to play, not because of our skill, but because of our rudeness.
I’m not telling you not to protest when something seems wrong.
I’m not telling you not to support your team, your school, your town.
I’m not telling you to back down.
I want you to be as loud, and vocal, and supportive as possible.
But I am asking you to look down on the field, as you prepare to scream profanity at the refs and umps, who are being paid very little to make sure your children get to play competitive games, and think for a second.
Think about how the deluge of verbal crap is driving a large chunk of those men and women to quit.
I do.
There are refs and umps I have written harsh things about on this blog who I don’t see on the field anymore.
Were my words the final straw? It’s possible, and it’s deeply troubling.
Think about how the deluge of verbal crap affects your children.
Their coaches, their teachers, the school administration, are asking them to play hard but fair, to show respect for the opponent, their teammates, the refs, and the game itself.
And then their parent is screaming at the ref and asking him or her to do something anatomically impossible.
It’s amusing, until it’s not.
Or I’m bad-mouthing the same refs and umps, calling their integrity into question, giving them ample reason to think of me as a douche bag, and my town as a place they’d rather not work.
It’s amusing, until it’s not.
There will always be bad calls, though, as any reasonable person knows, “bad” often depends on which team you support, and whether the call went against that team.
We live in an angry world.
It may be naive to hope that one small slice of it — sports played by teens and pre-teens — can provide an oasis.
But, for that to even be a possibility, we all have to do better.
For my part, I’m going to try and change one aspect of my writing, by focusing less on the perceived failings of refs and umps.
There are days when it will be a struggle, I’m sure, but it’s something I need to do.
If nothing else, writing this blog, and getting input from people far more in tune with themselves, is sort of like going to therapy. Hopefully some of it sinks in over time.
I hope others, specifically CHS parents, join me in looking inward and trying to find a better balance as well.
It’s simple. We can be supportive, without being asses.
Towns should fear the arrival of Coupeville because they know its teams will dominate on the field, not because their school officials will have to debate chucking our fans out the side door, while banning me from the premises.
We are better. We just need to prove it.
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