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CJ Woods, the guy in the tan pants coaching La Conner during this royal rumble, is changing states. (Chloe Marzocca photo)

La Conner’s loss is Arizona’s gain.

The Braves are bidding farewell to CJ Woods, who taught, coached boys’ varsity basketball, and was Athletic Director at the school.

The multi-threat, whose resignation was on the agenda at Monday’s La Conner School Board meeting, will be the new AD and head boys’ hoops coach at Chinle High School.

Located in Apache County in Arizona, it’s the largest school in the Navajo Nation.

Chinle’s basketball program was featured in a six-episode Netflix documentary, Basketball or Nothing, which premiered in 2019.

Woods replaces Raul Mendoza, who retired after a 44-year career, the last seven at Chinle, in which he won more than 800 games.

While his time in La Conner was relatively short for Woods, it was successful.

He led the Braves boys’ basketball team to the District 1/2 title and a trip to the 2B state tourney this past winter, fueled by a postseason upset of top-ranked Coupeville on its home court.

La Conner also added another state volleyball title last fall, with Woods occupying the AD office.

“I really enjoyed my time coaching with La Conner,” he said.

“The boys the past two years were just really fun groups to be around,” Woods added.

“Getting an opportunity to spend time in sharing the game together is what it’s about.

“I’m thankful I was given an opportunity to just learn and grow as a coach and educator.”

Woods, who graduated from Friday Harbor High School and the University of Idaho, is the second Athletic Director to leave the seven-team Northwest 2B/1B League in recent weeks.

He follows in the footsteps of Ryan Wilson, who departed Orcas Island and has relocated with his family to Lake Quinault.

Tim Burton (left) and Pee-Wee Herman, making magic.

Indiana Jones. Norman Bates. Scarlett O’Hara.

Whether it’s Clint Eastwood as The Man with No Name, or Gloria Swanson as Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard, some movie characters live forever.

Pee-Wee Herman is one of those immortals.

Through three movies, a TV show, a stage show, and several decades, the man-child with the bow tie and the extra-fancy bicycle elevated Paul Reubens and put him up there, rightfully, with the icons.

The news of the actor’s death, at age 70 (how could Pee-Wee be 70???) after a private battle with cancer, hits every emotional button I have.

I was 14 when Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure came out and have loved every frame of it ever since.

Look, I’m not saying it’s one of the best films of all time. I’m saying it’s bigger than that.

It’s not Chinatown, or On the Waterfront, or Lawrence of Arabia — pristine cinematic gems which stand at the tippy-top of my Mount Rushmore of films.

But Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, like Raiders of the Lost Ark and Hoosiers, has a hold on me which is uncanny.

No matter how many times I see it, what unspools remains as fresh today as it was in the ’80s.

Few things are better than harassing my nephews by endlessly replaying the Large Marge scene or Pee-Wee dancing to Tequila in platform shoes, or his attempted visit to the Alamo’s basement.

“I know you are, but what am I?”

“Go ahead and scream your head off! We’re miles from where anyone can hear you!”

“The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back!”

“Is this something you can share with the rest of us, Amazing Larry????”

“I say we let him go!!”

Some movies have great lines sprinkled across a sea of pedestrian dialogue.

Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure is gold, Jerry, gold, every last line of it.

“There’s a lotta things about me you don’t know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn’t understand. Things you couldn’t understand. Things you shouldn’t understand.”

During my 15-year run in video stores, one of the true highlights was winning a bet with Miriam, the owner of Videoville.

I had pledged to rent the pretty much unknown Bottle RocketWes Anderson and Owen Wilson’s first film — 300 times if she sprung for three VHS copies in the days when VHS copies cost their weight in gold.

325 rentals, and a lot of peeved customers later, I collected on that bet.

My bounty?

A laserdisc copy of Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure for the store and the chance to play the scene of our hero “rescuing” snakes from a burning pet store while screaming like a ninny in glorious high-def.

Not saying it was heaven, but with the store wrapped in the smell of popcorn drenched in fake butter, it was pretty darn close.

Look, there’s a lot going on today, same as yesterday, same as tomorrow.

But, in that words of that immortal sage, Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

Go, take a break and just marinate. Watch all 91 minutes of Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure or at least catch a clip or two.

Be a loner, a rebel, shed a tear, pour one out and pity the fool who doesn’t enjoy Mr. T’s cereal.

Not all heroes wear capes. Some wore bow ties.

Cheer aces Mica Shipley (left), Sylvia Arnold, and Rob Webb light up the CHS gym. (Photos courtesy Spirit of Cheer Booster Club)

The gym already echoes with the sound of spirit.

The first game doesn’t arrive until Sept. 1, but the Coupeville High School cheer squad is already hard at work, taking part in summer camps.

A recent two-day event put on by the Spirit of Cheer booster club brought former Wolf coach Sylvia Arnold and international superstar Mica Shipley back to the CHS gym.

After the camp, the high-flying Shipley returns to Eastern Washington University, where she’ll be in her fourth season as an NCAA D-I cheerleader.

Working with renowned stunt coach Rob Webb, the former Wolves provided inspiration and expertise to a new generation of cheer stars, which you can see in the pics above and below.

They need your help.

As they ramp up for Race the Reserve, the biggest fundraiser for the graduates at Coupeville High School, parents of the Class of 2024 are seeking volunteers for the event.

The call is out for both high school students and adults, and there are a variety of positions waiting to be filled.

Race the Reserve, which features a 5K, 10K, and half marathon, is set for Saturday, Aug. 12.

Money raised goes to fund safe and sober graduation events.

To volunteer, pop over to:

https://www.signupgenius.com/go/10c094baba622a4f9c25-race?fbclid=IwAR2bqxH3lhnznjvwJfWNQ_OzQnMlHjzUo5yyHtDZ7T2-X-a_0V5nSwilk18#/

Does the 2023-2024 budget reflect Coupeville’s strategic plan? Opinions vary.

We are not broken, but we need to fix things.

In the wake of efforts to pass a budget for the 2023-2024 school year, there is considerable anger bubbling just under the surface in the Coupeville School District.

Anger that, in many ways, feels justified.

It would be easy for district administrators and school board members to heave a sigh of relief in the wake of passing the budget, assuming everyone will go back to singing kumbaya, jointly working together to implement what is in that budget.

That would be dangerously naive.

People have still lost jobs.

And the majority of those budget cuts claimed positions which directly impact student safety and well-being.

A Dean of Students with 19 years in the trenches and countless teenage lives changed for the better.

An athletic trainer who helped Coupeville enjoy the most injury-free sports year I can remember in 30 years of writing, while also inspiring young women into following her career path.

Paraeducators who are the first, and last line, of defense, of positive reinforcement, of making sure each child gets the most from their day and returns home safely to their family.

There is a face behind every cut. Do not forget that.

With those cuts, and others, public perception, justified or not, is that the budget prioritizes a food service program which has lost money every year except when the state paid for free meals across the board at the height of the pandemic.

As administrators, as board members, I don’t know if you truly realize how close you all came to having this turn into something much nastier.

To having the anger not be an abstract thought, something you read about in letters to the board or in first-person accounts here on Coupeville Sports, but a reality of your daily life.

Life is different if they picket your houses.

More restrained voices won out this time when those discussions arose. They might not always.

Now, we don’t have multiple active lawsuits in play, as appears to be the case at a nearby district whose sports teams vie with the Wolves in the Northwest 2B/1B League.

And our district passed a budget Thursday, beating the state deadline, largely because to not do so would unleash chaos.

Whether that chaos, while painful, might have been beneficial in the long run, is a debate that will continue to play out.

I was one of only three people not on the school board or part of district administration who sat through two budget workshops and the budget hearing.

During those six-plus hours, I was conflicted.

I looked upon good men and women, people who I believe (or want to believe) are in those positions because they want to help Coupeville students reach the highest levels of achievement.

As in any group, there were disagreements on how best to reach that goal. Some were vocalized, though almost always couched in politeness.

I’m not saying the people in that room needed to scream at each other or take advantage of the fact Prairie Center had an ongoing sale on throwing-size tomatoes.

It would have been entertaining, certainly, as I sank deeper into a sea of half-understood financial figures and acronyms.

And I do believe a little righteous anger unleashed often has its place.

As The Real World taught my generation “This is the true story, to find out what happens, when people stop being polite, and start getting real.”

Sitting in the audience I was not allowed to scream “That is some righteous bullshit,” lest I get booted out to sit in the parking lot, no matter how many times those exact words burbled up inside me.

There is a reason I would not fit well seated at the “adult” table in these matters.

Coupeville’s school board directors and its administrators have an ability to operate in that world in a way I do not, and let’s give them credit for that.

While still wishing one or two would unleash a public “that is some righteous bullshit” when appropriate.

Such as when the answer to how some revenues in the new budget will be realized essentially comes off as us being told “It’s magic.”

But anyways.

What I witnessed, in my opinion, is a budget process which has to be fixed.

You can NOT send board members a revised budget at 11:30 PM on a Tuesday, when the budget workshop is 18 hours later, and the budget deadline is four days after that.

That is insanity, and all the excuses in the world — no matter how legit they may be — don’t change that.

Yes, the Finance Director is relatively new to the district.

Yes, the transition to the Qmlativ platform has made the budgeting process harder.

Yes, there are 1,001 real-life financial issues affecting school districts everywhere, not just in Coupeville.

It doesn’t matter.

You can NOT give board members 18 hours (or more like 10-12, if we accept most people sleep during the night…) to crunch hundreds of pages.

And this was not a one-time thing.

Every step of the way in the budget process this year, it felt as if the board was being forced to scramble, to work from behind, to try and do their due diligence without being given proper time.

Don’t come to me with excuses. I sympathize, but it doesn’t matter.

Fix it.

Secondly, all involved need to do a better job of keeping the taxpayers — their ultimate bosses — in the mix.

The district, at every level, has a PR problem, but with a little work, it could be improved.

Communicate with us, the great unwashed public.

You believe this is your best budget, that these decisions have to be made — sell it to us or don’t be surprised when social media chatter rips you a new one.

I understand you also have to have room and freedom to do your job, but if you are not willing to explain your decision making — well before we’re five minutes from seeing the budget approved — the blowback will only grow.

A lot of people do not feel their concerns were truly heard, no matter the post-game platitudes.

That has to be improved.

Also, read the room.

When your budget is about to slash jobs — again, real people, not just numbers on a spreadsheet — informing us you’re being honored by other administrators for those very budget cuts kind of goes over like a public fart.

Just sayin’.

Finally, let’s make it about me.

Someone out there, someone with a better understanding of financial matters, of how school districts operate, needs to step up and launch their own blog.

I’ve spent my scattershot journalism career primarily writing about sports and movies. I very specifically made the choice not to train for covering these matters.

You can start a blog literally for free or spend a few bucks as I have to give it at least a hint of a professional sheen.

Someone comes in and focuses on budget matters, on financial doings, on how the sausage is made at a time when money is tight everywhere, I’ll promote your work.

Then happily go back to watching a triple feature of Death Car on the Freeway, Night of the Killer Bears, and Swing You Sinners.